Then you were my baby, now you are my child.......

Last night I had some one on one cuddle time with Aria while she was trying to go to sleep. That is sort of rare these days as I am usually having to hold Isabella. She had fallen asleep in her bouncy seat for a little bit. We laid down and Aria wanted "sweetheart", her favorite doll (also the name of her imaginary friend who has been a part of our "family" for like 5 years now). Also, she has this thing she does when she is sleepy or just in need of comfort where she has to touch my face, she has just always done that. It is something I really love and I hope it will be a long time before she stops. Last night she wanted to hold my hand with her other hand, and I was noticing how big her hand is in mine now. It really made me sad because, her hand used to be so small. I'm not really sure why I am struggling with her turning 6, 5 was ok. I just really don't want my baby to grow up. Ever! I want to enjoy every minute of every day because she will never be the age she is today again. Maybe this has occurred to me because I have a new baby too. Who I also want to enjoy every minute of, and sometimes I struggle with how to do that at the same time. For years I said I didn't want any more children because I swore I couldn't love another as much. I was so caught up and in awe of this little "miracle" that we had created. One equal parts me and Dean. (well, maybe more me!) And If God had not decided that Isabella needed to come along I believe I would have missed out on another little miracle. I do love them both, I love them differently. I love Aria's drama and flamboyance, and her love for all things pink and sparkly and I love how she needs me. How she always wants me for comfort, and just generally needs to be near me. I love Isabella's personality as it starts to bloom. I think she will be totally different, right now she seems to be a watcher, and more reserved. We will see if that changes. I also love how she needs me, needs me to hold her, needs to see exactly where I am at all times. I love how she is sitting beside me in her bouncy seat kicking her chubby little leg and smiling at me when she sees I noticed. : ) And of course, I love (and this might be my favorite) is how much they both look so much like me! So maybe that is my reflection on motherhood today, I thank God for blessing me with them and I can not imagine my life with out them, either of them. This just might be the best job in the world.........